No distance
by MoonWriting
Summary: I just made a new friend, her name is Santana...
1. Chapter 1

I just made a new friend, her name is Santana. It all started 3 weeks ago when I was bored and the day was grey. After dancing like crazy around the house for most of the evening I decided maybe it was time for me to get into the unknown twitterverse. So I finally created a Twitter account, I started to follow people who shared my interests and they followed back, so with this girl it was kind of an instant connection. We started talking about Naya's awesomeness (Let me remind you Naya is my favorite actress in the whole planet) We talked about her job, her body, her voice, her laugh... everything about Naya is perfect! And Santana seems to agree with that, which is sooo cool. The next day we talked again. She told me she's from Vancouver. That means I'm like 3 hours ahead from her! Aren't timezones interesting? Anyway, what's really really great is that we both are almost the same age, love traveling, dancing, and agree in most of the things we discuss (and also gossip) We keep talking every day, discovering new things about each other. Yesterday she told me everyone says she's a badass. I said maybe, but she's so sweet too! At this point she laughs but each day I'm more convinced about it, seriously.  
>We started to talk using private messages and chatting outside Twitter. Last week she asked me if I was gay and I told her I'm not. I asked her the same question and after a few minutes she replied saying she is probably bi... and asking if that's a problem for me. I was like Are you serious? You're amazing, of course I don't mind! She thanked me (I was like Are you serious? Again) and told me I was the first person to know that. This time I just freaked out. Wow, this girl really trusts me! I trust her the same way, and that's the craziest part! I have a lot of friends, we always hang out, go clubbing and share secrets... but I can't be completely 100% honest with them. With Santana it's different. We feel like we've known each other forever and I love it.<br>I could see some pictures of her. Dark hair, deep brown eyes, darkish skin. REALLY beautiful. I've been thinking about it for the last few days... I'm getting confused, maybe I'm bi too?


	2. Chapter 2

Santana is freaking awesome, I'm so glad I met her! I let her know about my increasing confusion and she was so sweet "Brittany, it's ok there's nothing wrong with that. That's who you are, you'll learn to accept and love that. I'm with you" She totally is! I wanna hug her so bad...  
>In high school I was very popular and almost every boy was hitting on me. I had some boyfriends. I thought I loved them but now I'm not so sure. Now that Santana knows my secret I feel relief, and I'm pretty sure she feels the same. We can talk about everything now. And I mean EVERYTHING. And I really enjoy talking about girls with her. Everyday we're talking for around 4 hours non-stop! When we run out of topics we usually start playing Q&amp;A and we end up knowing some curious and irrelevant stuff about the other. And we laugh a lot! It's been ages since I have a really good friend like this... so I started to talk about her with my friends. It's been nearly 2 months since we started talking... I'm not so good at maths but if you multiply that by 4 hours a day... that's a lot of information shared! Soon enough I started to add "That's what Santana would say!" in the middle of a conversation with my friends. They got used to it and she's like one more friend of the group. I told her! And she said "Hahah No way Britt! I'll have to visit you soon!" I wish she did.<br>Last week I wrote her a letter saying she is like... like a sister to me! She says she never cries but that letter did made her cry because she feels exactly the same way about me. That made _me_ cry... The bond we formed in such a short time is unbelievable!  
>Yesterday Santana came out to her parents. First her mom, then her dad. They are amazing, cause they hugged her and told her it doesn't matter who she loves as long as she's happy. They love her so much, every parent should be like that... I'm sure my parents would freak out if I came out to them. Whatever they'd do, it wouldn't compare to that. And she... she is SO brave! I'm totally proud of her! "My brave Santana!" I said. "Oh, shut up! I couldn't take it anymore, that's not brave!" she replied. But I'm sure she was... she is proud of herself too, and behind that badass attitude she was blushing.<br>Her mother tongue is Spanish and she also speaks French. This evening, after going to sleep early (I don't like timezones anymore) she said "Te amo hermana" I had to use Google translator to find out that means "I love you sister" I'm so gonna learn Spanish!


	3. Chapter 3

Ok, I hate timezones. I really hate them! Santana moved to France. She's so far away! And like 5 hours ahead, that means we can't talk so often... even worse! We need to save more money to visit each other. Honestly I felt like a sad panda cause I was waiting for her to say goodbye when she left. Just like she would have done if we were closer, you know a hug, a goodbye... just in case anythings happens! Luckily nothing happened and she's now safe and happy in her new home.  
>She called me yesterday! OMG that was so cool, the conversation lasted around 15 minutes but that was the best conversation ever! I don't really remember everything we were talking about... how was our day so far, what were our plans for the week, what time are we having dinner... I just can tell we couldn't stop laughing! And her voice... I love her voice! That was the exact same voice I had imagined for her. I told her and she said she loves my voice too! A strange feeling came over, I am<em> so . freaking . happy<em>!  
>I'm so used to her that I really miss her the second she logs out, it's crazy! When I feel down or in a bad mood it only takes a word from her to make me feel way better. She says "Britt, it works the same way for me! Thank you" She tells me I am the sweetest person ever and I always make her smile.<br>I think... I'm afraid something is changing within me. Last night I dreamt of her. We were sitting on my couch talking, nobody home except us. Santana took my hand and our eyes met I don't know for how much time, I just couldn't take my eyes off of hers. Slowly we leaned forward and we kissed. It felt so damn good! But what was that dream about? "Brittany, listen here. Santana is your friend... a really good friend! There's no way you have other feelings for her" That's what I keep repeating to myself but I can't stop thinking about it... I can't stop thinking about her! Of course, I told her about that dream, but this was the first time I've ever lied to her because I didn't say it was actually _her_ the girl I was kissing.  
>She said "That doesn't necessary mean anything hon, if you had feelings for that person you would know" Great! Now that got me thinking even more about this whole thing. She is beautiful inside and outside, she makes me feel way better than anyone else can, I miss her the second she leaves and a day without talking to her is like grey, I think of her all the time, now I dream of her... I'm really scared cause there's one word to describe those symptoms... Love.<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

It can't be... I mean it _can't_ be! I've known her just for 3 and a half months. Yeah, it seems forever but still! This is crazy, I keep dreaming the sweetest dreams ever and she's in all of them. "Brittany, try to avoid her" that thought came to my mind just once and I won't let it come ever again. I'd be lost without her, I know it.  
>I'm scared! This feeling is getting deeper and stronger by the days and I'm trying to stop it so I won't screw it up. I want this friendship to last forever, I don't wanna lose her. But stopping this seems impossible, I just can't.<br>After a week feeling guilty and freaking out, discovering real love for the first time in my life... and with a girl... I started to admit it to myself. I was able to think "I am falling in love with Santana" but saying it out loud or even writing it was so difficult. I needed help, someone to guide me. The first person I could tell my feelings was my best friend (I wrote it, and closed my eyes when she read it) She was surprised but supportive. I felt some relief but I needed a stronger guide. So out of the blue I remembered that in Twitter there were 2 girls who had apparently met online and now they were the sweetest couple I've ever read about. I think I hadn't talked to them before... but I was desperate for help. So I sent a private message to this girl Kate asking for advice and again saying "I'm falling in love with Santana" That ended up being the best idea I've ever had! She gave me all the support and advice I needed and made me feel I'm not alone with this. Relief grew bigger. On the other hand, she needed someone to talk about her story too, so we soon became good friends. I'm really glad I decided to talk to her, she's so important to me now.  
>One of her advice was to write a letter to Santana saying everything I feel for her and sending it whenever I feel ready. I did so. First I didn't know where to begin but suddenly the words blurted so fast I filled 2 pages (with words and tears) from the bottom of my heart. But I didn't send it. Someday I'll have to tell her the truth. We've always been really honest with each other, I have to tell her that she is the best thing that ever happened to me, that I don't know how to thank fate for bringing us together and becoming such close friends, that I'm falling for her... I'm just too afraid of losing her.<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

After a couple of weeks I couldn't take it anymore. I can't lie to her, it's just against my instincts. So I decided to tell her the truth but instead of sending the letter I texted her.

"_San... I need to tell you something cause I can't take it anymore. I have feelings for you. I tried to stop it but I just can't! I'm falling for you... please don't leave me alone_"

I've NEVER felt so vulnerable in my life. Not even for dance auditions, the speech for graduation... not even when I told other guys that I loved them. Again, another proof that this was different. My whole body was shaking! The phone dropped on the bed cause I couldn't hold it anymore. My heart beating so fast, my efforts to control my breath... I could hear 2 voices in my head, one saying "What have you done!" the other one saying "You had to do this!" I waited and waited for a reply that came some hours later.

_"OMG Britt... I don't know what to say, I didn't expect this. I feel bad for you, why didn't you tell me before? I will never judge you. And I won't leave you alone babe! Nothing has to change between us, you're still the same person for me"_

Relief! She is perfect indeed! She's not scared or mad, she wants to keep being the same close friends we've always been... Of course I would have been happier if she had felt the same, but I was so scared at the possibility of losing her, that I couldn't help but smile brightly.  
>When I think about it I realize I have 2 options.<p>

A) Let this love free to grow in hopes someday she feels the same.

B) Let this love free to grow in hopes someday it fades away.

The first one is the hardest, trying and trying to win her heart letting her see mine. The second one means I have to ignore and deny the feeling that took so much effort to accept. That would be easier but it would destroy myself inside... But I know she already loves me, I'm a special friend for her and I will be forever. I can be sure now, I will never lose her as a friend. I have to make a choice and maybe... maybe it hurts so much at the end and my heart breaks in a million pieces when she finds someone else... but there's so much to win and so little to lose! ...Option A.


	6. Chapter 6

Option A is a freaking rollercoaster! Classes have started and that means we don't have enough time to talk. We've been up to 2 whole weeks without talking at all. 14 days, 336 hours, 20160 minutes... God, how I miss her!  
>Santana is always in my mind. Every second I wonder if she is happy. I want her to be, that's what I want the most.<br>I text her often but she doesn't reply. Sometimes she does, but after a pretty long time... and in the meantime there's a contradiction. I assume she doesn't reply because she's having a good time or maybe she's too busy but feeling good and doesn't need me. That doesn't feel bad. But at the same time I repeat "she doesn't need me" so I feel a punch in my stomach. And the worst part is when I also feel stupid. That happens when I find out she had the time to be online and I missed it... or when I keep waiting and waiting for a reply. Countless nights I've cried feeling stupid and unworthy of her. I've never talked to her about this, though. I don't want Santana to be uncomfortable or confused or guilty... I said I want her to be happy all the time.  
>However, when we talk everything is fine again. I feel happy and optimistic. Here is when I realize all the crying wasn't necessary cause she's still there, as always, with the right explanation why she hadn't text before.<br>She doesn't say she misses me though... I hope she does at least just a little bit.  
>I've always been a believer, I dream big! That's who I am inside and it feels so good. I try really, really hard to keep that feelings of hope and happiness "Someday it will be, Britt" but I can't keep it for a long time when it comes to her. And then again, here comes the rollercoaster.<br>I think it's Love that makes me feel like this. It overcomes me and takes control... I hope she can understand, I don't want her to think I'm selfish or childish or crazy... anything like that. I'm just deeply in love and I need her. I need a tight hug.

"Britt, I'm going to Sidney next year. You should come!"_ I will go to Sidney to meet you even if I have to go swimming._ "Yeah, that would be so cool! I'll save money for that"  
>I found a job as babysitter, so many hours. It's really exhausting but as long as I can save money for the trip I don't mind tireness. I keep dreaming of her every night. I guess you could say I'm used to it. Far from fading, my love keeps growing. It's getting harder to say one single thing I love the most about her because I just love it all.<br>I'd been working on her birthday gift for 3 months. I wanted it to be perfect. It has all the things she love. Her favorite color, her favorite songs... even some of her favorite people. The day I sent it to her was the best day of my life. She was unbelievably happy! "Ohmygod Britt! You did this for me! I love you so much, this is the best gift anyone has ever gave me" The best day of my life indeed.


	7. Chapter 7

I'm talking to myself at the airport waiting for the boarding time. "You deserve this, Brittany. Stop thinking you don't cause everything happens for a reason and now you're here, just a few hours away" I worked so hard and saved enough money for the trip. I will finally meet the woman I love. I can say it out loud now. I love a woman, I love Santana Lopez. I am freaking nervous...  
>The flight is blurry in my head, it's like I've been hungover... (Oh yeah alcohol, I wouldn't say no to it now) A punch in my stomach and a sudden awake when I saw her waiting there. Damn, she is even more gorgeous in person! When our eyes meet I can't help but running towards her. I don't know where my luggage is, I hug her really tight and she hugs back. A few teardrops fall down my cheeks and get lost in my huge smile. I can't believe I'm here. I can't believe she's here... this is unreal.<br>I don't remember the way to our hotel, I don't even know it's name or the number of our double room, but if you ask me I can retell every single word she says while we get there. We are both really excited! 2 weeks in Sidney, us meeting for the first time... it feels magical. We take many pictures together, visit amazing places... (actually common places become amazing with her)  
>Finally weekend! That means clubbing and we both love it. While we're dancing our butts off, a little tipsy, seeing the way she moves... I can't take it anymore. I stay still for a second. "Not now Britt, you're having a great time, don't screw it up!"<br>"Anything wrong?" _Of course she asks..._ "I'm ok, San. Need some air" And I leave the club quickly. I'm sitting outside, leaning against the wall with my eyes closed trying to repress the feelings one more time. I feel someone aproaching and sitting next to me. _No, please..._

"Are you crying, hon? What's wrong? You can talk to me"

Implosion.

"Nothing, I told you I'm fine..."_ Damn tears, stop falling!_

An arm around my shoulders is enough. Explosion.

"You know what happens, I love you! I feel awful cause we are friends and we meet for the first time and... this is wrong"

"But Brittany, you're not doing anything wrong..."

"That's because I'm repressing it, Santana. You can't imagine how much I wanna kiss you!"

Silence. My head falls again, my eyes closed. I don't want to see her face before she walks away. I couldn't see anything anyway, because of the tears... But she isn't going anywhere. Her arm is still around my shoulders even... even tighter than before. I lift my head slowly and find her eyes once again. Our lips crash together. I'm not conscious of what I'm doing, my heart's beating so fast. I can feel her hand running through my hair and I realize she's kissing back! When we pull back in search of air and explications for what's just happened, neither of us can say a word. We just look into each other's eyes and caress our blushing faces.

"Britt... let me kiss you again"

The next morning I wake up in her arms. It feels better than I've ever dreamt. I smile brightly sensing her soft heartbeats. Finally, all the effort, sleepless nights, holding on, the pain... it was all worth for this moment. It was worth for all the future moments. I feel safe now. Relieved, happy, loved. I don't care about what my parents would say, I don't care about where will we live. With her by my side anything is possible. We will be together forever, overcoming every obstacle. I know it.

I have a new girlfriend, her name is Santana.

* * *

><p><strong>Based on a real story. Mine.<br>****The last chapter, however, is real for Brittany but it's still just a dream for me. I'm tempting fate with it.  
>Thanks for the reviews. Thanks for reading :)<strong>


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